The bane of my existence:

What exactly is a bane anyway?

Drawing on the poetic meaning of the word "bane", this means that the subject is a perpetual thorn in the speaker's side, a chronic cause of trouble and difficulty and even suffering. A useful phrase to pull out when you're all out of swear words to describe a certain coworker, roommate, or college professor.

Originally referred to a kind of poison, and as Webster 1913 points out, an especially deadly one at that. Today the poisons all have obscenely long names straight out of a chemistry textbook, so "bane" has moved on to a more poetic meaning. You may sometimes hear of someone describing another person as "the bane of my existence"; the toxic metaphor has not been misplaced.

Ya. That describes it.

I. Hate. Full. Moons.

For some reason that is beyond me, I get insomnia when the moon is full. I know, I know, sounds ridiculous, bizarre, peculiar, and a little creepy, but all werewolf jokes aside, its true.

Its been this way for as long as I can remember. Whenever the moon is full, I lie in bed for hours, and no matter how tired I am, it takes FOREVER to fall asleep. And then when I finally drift off, it is not into peaceful slumber as one hopes for, but rather, I spend what is left of the night tossing and turning and having ridiculously strange and disturbing dreams.

It is beyond annoying. Its my dads fault though. He's the same way, but no one else in my family seems to suffer from the same ailment. In fact, hes the only other person I've ever met who complains of something so strange. Although, its probably not something people generally admit to.

And its not just one night, oh no. When its a full moon, the agony usually lasts for about three nights, and no matter how exhausted I get, there is nothing to be done. Sleeping pills? Bad, bad idea. I shudder at the thought. Seems logical, but makes it soooo much worse.

So, if you see me with dark circles under my eyes, frazzled hair, and a grumpy expression, check the phase the moon is currently in, and chances are good that it will be nice and full and mocking me with its bright and sinister...fullness.

By the way, anyone seen the moon lately?